Husbands: Five Things God Wants Us to Know About Purpose

Posted on September 1, 2025

Even though some men around you may be bending and leaning to one side or the other in their marriage when it comes to leading their households; God is still calling husbands to stand firm, walk in purpose, and lead with love. If you’ve ever found yourself questioning your role, your voice, or even your worth as a husband, God sees you. He has not left you without guidance.

That is why I wrote “The Purposeful Husband.” Not as a rulebook, but as a reminder that your role is sacred, your leadership matters, and your love when led by Christ can change the spiritual temperature of your home. Today, I want to share five things God wants every Christian husband to know as you pursue your purpose.

First, know that You Were Chosen to Lead, Not to Control

Leadership in marriage isn’t about being the loudest or strongest voice in the room. It’s about servant leadership, modeled after Christ. A lot of times we get leadership in marriage confused with boot camp. Meaning using drill sergeant techniques with our spouse in tone and demeanor. Which is totally opposite of what God intended for us. The bible tells us in Ephesians 5:25,

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

Christ didn’t lead with force. He led with sacrifice. And so should we. We must understand that we don’t have to tear her down to get our point across. Mom used to say, “You get more flies with honey than vinegar.”

2. Your Words Have Weight

A husband’s words can either water his wife’s soul or wither her confidence. Speak life, speak truth, and don’t withhold affirmation. Most people when they are mad get quiet and give the silent treatment to their spouses. Husbands, we have to do better. We do not have time to waste on insignificant misunderstandings that the enemy have convinced us is worth dying on a hill to defend. Especially since we know and understand words have power. Proverbs 18:21 says,

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” This verse is a reminder that we should always be intentional with our words and use them for encouragement rather to tear down and cause harm. Likewise, Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) says, Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

The Purposeful Husband dives into how our communication can either reflect God’s love or undermine it. We cannot build what we keep tearing down with careless speech. We simply do not have time to waste on minute bull junk. You see how fast our kids are growing up and going to college. One day you buying diapers and the next day you paying tuition. Time is simply too precious to waste on foolishness.

3. God Honors Your Effort, Not Your Perfection

You don’t have to be a flawless man to be a faithful one. God is not looking for perfect husbands he’s looking for men who are surrendered and willing to sacrifice daily. In short, giving up your will for His will and acknowledging him as your Lord and Savior.

“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.” Psalm 37:23 In the book, I encourage husbands to lean into grace to keep showing up, praying, leading, and loving even when it feels hard. No one said it was easy being a husband. You will be tested daily inside your home and out. We need to understand we cannot control what others do or say, we can only control our response and actions.

4. Your Purpose Begins at Home

It is easy to be a public success and a private failure. But God does not just want your work; He wants your witness starting in your own household. Elders will tell you first ministry starts at home. We have to keep the main thing the main thing, meaning take care of home. What you did to get her is what you need to continue doing to keep her. It can be unintentional to lose focus when it comes to quality time with your spouse, but you have to make sure you are prioritizing your marriage. Nurturing it, watering it, speaking life into it and especially praying for it to continue to grow together. 1 Timothy 5:8(KJV) says, “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”

Your greatest ministry is not the pulpit nor your workplace. It’s your living room. It’s how you serve your wife, how you teach your children, and how you live out your faith daily.

5. You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

Too many husbands carry silent burdens. But God created you for community, not isolation. It is time we begin to move differently and not continue to do life alone. If you do not have at least two brothers you can confide in to hold you accountable, you are missing out. In 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NASB), Paul said, "Therefore, encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing." I believe Paul, knowing how hard life can be, wanted the Thessalonians to continue to provide comfort, support and inspiration to fellow believers. Notice the scripture ends with, “…just as you also are doing.” Therefore that tells us they were already doing it, and Paul wanted to encourage them to continue. Which should remind us how easy it is to start off leaning on each other and the minute life starts doing what life does, we fall back into isolation. Which is simply failing to trust the process and thinking we can figure things out on our own. Sometimes we get in our own way by over thinking and allowing fear to dictate how we move as men. If you don’t have brothers to hold you accountable and pray with you, pray for some and ask God to show you who they are. “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17. This is why The Purposeful Husband includes reflection questions, scriptures, and books to read, to guide you in both private growth and group study.

Final Thoughts

If you are a husband reading this, I want you to know God hasn’t forgotten you. The world may minimize your role, but heaven does not. You are called, you are equipped, you are needed, and you were never meant to do this without the guidance of God’s Word.

Are You Ready to Go Deeper?

Grab your copy of The Purposeful Husband today and walk boldly into your calling with faith, intentionality, and love.

Available now on www.eewilkins.com or Amazon https://a.co/d/iD3GOx6, Apple store:http://books.apple.com/us/book/id6749250760

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